Chick Tells All...well, some.

Well, I promised that secrets would be revealed and I’m a lot of things, but a liar ain’t one of em.

The secret to a really, really hot lemon is, not surprisingly, description. But not just a description of the actions involved. You should be writing about all of the senses when you’re writing lemons. Really, sex is SO much more than just being bent over the back of the sofa.

Brace yourself, here comes Secret #1!

It’s a little know fact that I am a research junkie. If something pops in my head, and I don’t know all there is to know about it, I’m researching that shit. GoogleSearch is one of my best friends.

When I went to write my first lemon, I was the same way. I had read lemons that had left me swearin’ off sex for the rest of my life, and I had read lemons that had me makin’ booty calls at 1 am. I HAD to figure out why some lemons were just so terrible, while others were so amazing and educate myself on how to write the latter. So off to Google I ran.

I found some really helpful articles with really great advice. I bookmarked those things so fast, I think my computer started smoking! I’ve read and re-read these articles. Every time, I pull a little more from them that helps improve my lemon writing skills.

This first article comes from UTNE Reader. How to Write a Sex Scene by Steve Almond is a humorous look at writing lemons. I laughed my ass off reading it...still do. Every time. It’s a good place to start for tips.

The second article that I bookmarked was from Marge Piercy’s Personal Blog The Longings of Women: On Writing Sex Scenes. I found this article helpful with judging when a lemon would be appropriate, and when a simple reference to what happened was all that was needed. Even in a sex filled story, sometimes a cheeky hint to what happened is really all that’s needed.

By far, the most helpful article I found came from the Red Room Blog. Writing a Sex Scene is more of a discussion than an article, and to fully appreciate its usefulness, you have to read through all of the comments. As with any blog’s comments though, you’ll find some to be more helpful than others. Jessica Barksdale is a writing professor with UCLA’s extension service. She actually teaches classes on writing sex scenes, so I paid very close attention to the advice she gives. It’s good.

All of the articles helped with boosting my confidence in writing my first lemon. BUT, I needed it to be written from a male’s point of view. I am not a man. I had no idea what a man’s sexual experience felt like since I don’t have a dick. So back to Google I ran. Well, that and I took to asking random men on the streets. I wouldn’t recommend you do that though.

My Google search for information turned up some crazy ass stuff, but I waded through it all until I found something useful. I discovered my exact question asked in the TOPIX human sexuality forum. Men: what does an orgasm feel like? While many of the posted “answers” were a joke, there were some truly well thought out, and descriptive answers to be found. If you’re a woman and you’re writing from a male point of view, recognizing that the physical feelings will be different from yours is key.

Here comes Secret #2!

Ok, well anyone that knows me probably already knows this. I love me some porn. And I have quite a few porno clips bookmarked. I consider it research. Instead of practically killing myself trying to contort into various positions, I find it much easier to just let the professionals do it. Then I can watch, and see the logistics. I find it easier to study the actual logistics by “seeing” than by “doing” mostly because I can be more clinical about it. That, and there’s a pause and rewind feature, in case I need to make notes. Just a word to the wise ladies...guys don’t like it so much if you try to pause them and start scribbling in a notepad. Trust me on this.

There’s literaly a gazillion billion quadrillion sites out there for porn. I have my favorite, so go find yours.

There’s also a pretty good site that has funny ass .gif animated figures. SexInfo101 has some real freaks posing comments on each of the illustrated positions, so read them at your own risk. I read them because I’m a research h00r, and I like knowing what other folks think/feel about the positions.

Secret #3...

Read lemons. Read LOTS of lemons. Read the good ones, and take notes. Read the bad ones and take notes. And write lemons as an exercise. Don’t worry so much about plot or word count, just write the lemon. Just because you write it, you don’t have to post it. Save it, go back to it, re-write it. It’s an exercise that will help you become more comfortable with putting sex on paper.

Well, there you have it...my sage advice on writing lemons. Do with it what you will. Next post, I’m going to go in a little different direction. I’m gonna address all the bad role play sex that plagues my timeline on Twitter. Cause really, that’s just writing a lemon. So, if you’ve seen some really bad, or really good RP Twitter sex, let me know about it. Direct Message me or email me, because I’m not here to embarrass folks.

I still want some questions. I want YOU to send me questions about lemons, rec’s to lemons you love, rec’s to lemons you hate. Hell, write me a damn lemon and send it to me. And I want comments. Lots of comments.

Till next time...

Chick