The LemonAid Stand #1

*waves*

Welcome to The Lemonade Stand.

THE Chick Norris here, but you can call me Chick. I might be slightly insane, so you may want to proceed with caution. I have a tendency to kick ass first, and then worry about minor details like ‘why’ later. I’m not a “dainty little lady” so you won’t be getting that here at The Lemonade Stand. I call it like I see it. And I ramble...a lot.

Since I’m a self-proclaimed pornh00r, I’ll be your guide through the wonderful world of lemons. I know lemons, and I can pick and write good ones. For those of you that may have a little doubt, let me provide you with a quick taste of my abilities.

I felt his lips close around my nipple, his tongue flicking across its tip and I couldn’t contain the moan that escaped my lips. I reached for him, pulling him closer to me, needing to feel him moving inside of me. I gasped out his name and he chuckled as he kissed his way up my neck. His breath caressing my ear he slowly entered me with a groan.

I plan on finding and sharing good lemons with you, reviewing lemons, passing on some lemon writing tips, basically if it has to do with writing about sex it’s up for grabs. (You guys should know, I snickered as I wrote that...grabs.)

Now I count myself a VERY lucky lady, cause my fic wife, our very own GemmaLisax is the Queen of Lemons. In fact, it was my review of one of her lemons that was our first contact...but, I’m not here to walk down memory lane.

He bit down on my nipple and began to suck at the same time he plunged two fingers into me, so deep, so sure, so strong, and so...so...good. I screamed, first in pain and shock from the bite, then in pleasure at everything he was doing to me. One last swipe at my breast and he brought his mouth back to mine, still moving his fingers, curving them slightly in order to gain access to my clit and then again as he pressed up and set me on fire as my climax built suddenly and spilled over, filling me with tremors and euphoria.

“So beautiful,” he murmured, against my lips. “So perfect.”

And then he was inside me, completely and utterly, I hadn’t even seen him strip. He was so very hard, pumping and thrusting, rolling against my clit, hitting my cervix and sending wave after wave of pleasure spanning out from my sex.

That’s an excerpt from her smokin’ hot fic Spontaneous Combustion. Now...don’t you want to be that gal? See, that’s the essence of a really good lemon. You can envision yourself experiencing what the character is experiencing. But it’s still more than that.

I think that the single most important thing in a really good lemon; the thing that can take a good lemon and make it really great is the build up. Lemons are sex. It’s not very often that you just dive straight in to intercourse, you’ll usually have a little foreplay. Even if the foreplay is all in your mind, it’s still there. So why in a story would the characters dive right into it?

They wouldn’t, or rather, they shouldn’t. There should be subtle innuendos, innocent touches, longing. These things, spread out before the lemon builds the sexual tension between the characters. That’s real sex. That’s sex that folks can imagine. That’s sex that folks want to be having.

And for the love of the Great Grilled Chesus...keep it real. I just hate reading a lemon where the character’s sex is unrealistic. One of my favorite examples of “keeping it real” comes from Stitchcat’s Not All Who Wander Are Lost.

This time we took it a little bit slower, but not by much. It was still pretty hot sex, but we were havin' plenty of fun too. I already knew she was ticklish, she found out I like my nipple ring bein' pulled on lightly with her teeth. She loved it when I grabbed her ass, and I loved it too. Even when she was ridin' me for all she was worth – and doin' a damn fine job – both of us sweaty and pantin', she didn't let a pussyfart put her off. She looked me right in the eye, grinned and said "Well THAT never happened before, you must be big huh?". And just like that we were right back at it.

A pussyfart in a lemon, and it’s still hot as fuck. See, that’s a good damn lemon. It’s real. You don’t have to admit it to anyone, but you know deep down inside...sex is a sloppy, wet mess. A fun mess, but a mess nonetheless.

If you ever need a good example how NOT to write a lemon, check out Virginal Dominatrix of Love by the fabulous collaborative team The Clan of Redundancy Clan. They wrote this crackfic as a “What not to write in a lemon” exercise (according to their Author’s Note) and hot damn if they didn’t hit the nail on the head.

Her moistened flower was opening just for him, and she needed, wanted, desireth, ached for him to pollinate her for all he was worth and then more. "On the bed," she said in a sexually commanding voice that portrayed her innocence as well, "Now!"

I’m not making that shit up, it’s really in there.

In my next post, I’m planning on getting personal. Secrets will be revealed. (cue oohs and aahs) With that in mind, I want some questions. I want YOU to send me questions about lemons, rec’s to lemons you love, rec’s to lemons you hate. Hell, write me a damn lemon and send it to me. And I want comments. Lots of comments.

'Till Next Time...

Chick